The text exchange below was between two team members about eighteen months ago. The italic texts are from the 14 year old mentor and the orange bold texts are from the 11 year old student she is paired with in our youth program
Hey…. XXXX told me to text you what’s going on
What do you do when cuts show ?
One.. you should never do that to yourself it’s not good for you and you need to feel better about yourself. Its not good for you and your such an amzing girl and you deserve so much better than that
Well when people get on your last nerve and parents fight and you get bullied everyday and you get lower with your self esteem it hurts
I know it hurts but you got to be stronger and overcome it and let it not get to you… use that as a lesson what not to do when your older or to others and don’t let them get to you tell them no your not going to mess with me today
I mean heck all the kids at school hate me except for one girl and she helped me somewhat last time
So what if they hate you their just jealous
And then when people and teachers force you to play trumpet or join other kids to play that’s kinda hurtful to cause your getting lower and lower in self esteem. And I don’t wear long sleeves nor pants or sweatpants that much cause I don’t have long sleeve shirts XXXXXX has them all she stole them and I don’t have my hoodie cause its getting washed
You should just stop doing it so you don’t have to worry about how to hide it you should never feel like that… I know you have seen others do it but that does not mean you should do it
Like I have told everyone else that knows I have been trying
You do not need to hang around people that do things like that… also just try your hardest and set goals
What goals ?
That you will think of small good things of yourself… one good thing at a time and be thankful for it…that you will not hurt yourself or anyone else and you will not say bad things
OK I can try
You do not try.. you have to do if you really want it you will make it happen
OK
It will help you a lot in the future and it will make you very successful
OK
If you ever need to talk, just text me
Alright
The above counseling between the two did help…in a recent conversation with the student’s uncle, he stated that they saw a marked improvement in her this past year and she is no longer the anxiety ridden pre-teen they were worried about. The above text communication would have never been seen by an adult… children keep such thoughts to themselves. By our program of 2 member teams of mentor/student, we want to encourage open dialogue between the team members where they support each other. We also saw a marked improvement in the 14 year old’s attitude… helping others helped her as well.